New Poem: No Comment
It is another new poem in a relatively short space of time. If you have been following me you will know I had a few up my sleeve whilst waiting for my longer poem (A Pokeadventure) to be released. I am now in the process of releasing a few short poems in-between parts of that longer one. So my next poem will be part 2 of A Pokeadventure, but for now here is a rather cheeky little poem I wrote in under a minute. It is called ‘No Comment’ and comes about from a book I was reading. I do not usually read crime thrillers, but did due to one being chosen for the book group I am in. In one part, there was a police interview and the client was told to supply ‘no comment’ to every question. I thought, ‘wouldn’t it be funny if there was a poem called no comment where the poem didn’t actually say anything?’ I am not sure if that is true, but I decided to write it anyway. So, below you can read (or rather not!) my new poem ‘No Comment.’ If you want more of my terrible attempt at prose you can head over to my poetry collection on wattpad entitled ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read.’ I hope you enjoy, although I do feel the vlog of this poem might be a bit better than actually reading it!
No Comment
…
New Vlog: Helmet
A lot quicker that with my previous poem, the vlog for ‘Helmet’ is out now. The poem is about people riding bikes without helmets on, and you can probably tell that that annoys me! As it is a short poem it is on YouTube Shorts. As usual, you can watch it below or head over to my YouTube channel to view it along with other poems I have written, as well as short stories and parts of my novels. Feel free to give comments, both positive and constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy.
New Poem: Helmet
Now I have sorted my longest poem to date, and will be releasing it in parts (if you did not read part 1 you can click here), I can go back to releasing some of my shorter poems that will likely end up being read on YouTube Shorts. I have a few to get out there, but for my first one I thought I would go with one of my pet peeves. It is based on an issue I see a lot, and as a person with smallish children worries me, as it might give them ideas. Basically, it is people riding bikes without wearing a helmet as if it somehow makes them cooler! So yeah, I won’t rant about it, I will let the poem do the talking. Here is ‘Helmet.’ As usual, you can read it below, or head over to my poetry collection on wattpad entitled ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want read.’ Over there is more of my terrible poetry. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to comment both positively and negatively…
Helmet
Here I am, driving slowly
Stuck behind a bicycle
I curse at the fool
Peddling in front of me
Not because he slows me down
But because he does not wear a helmet
Gambling his life
For some improved aesthetic
Who needs a brain
When you look so cool?
New Vlog: A Pokeadventure part 1: Journey through the Green forest
It has taken over a week to get around to recording this vlog, there are two main reasons for this. Firstly, I am back at school now so have little free time. Secondly, I had a chance to record it a few days before I went back to school but was waiting to get my hair cut. I know, I know, I’m so vain! Anyhow, below is the vlog of me reading my latest poem ‘A Pokeadventure part 1: Journey through the Green forest.’ Remember that it is not the best poem I have ever written, but rather one that I set myself as a challenge to include as many Pokémon words as I could. If, by some sheer luck, you actually enjoy the poem, then you can find me reading even more of my poems on my YouTube channel. There are even other videos of me reading short stories and parts of my novels. You can even comment on the videos. What a wonderful thing this Internet malarky is! I hope you enjoy.
New Poem: A Pokeadventure part 1: Journey through the Green forest
OK, here it is at last, that bigger poem I said I was working on. Well actually, it has grown so large that I have split it into four different poems. This is also one of the reasons I have not been posting recently; between this mammoth poem (in four parts) and re-editing ‘A Close Shave with Destiny’ all my writing time has been taken up. Anyway, back to ‘A Pokeadventure.’ Before we get going, I must say that this is not my best poem (or collection of poems), it is really just a random challenge I set myself. You see, I have written a lot of short poems recently, partly as those are the ones that seem to pop into my head and partly because since starting the Shorts section of my YouTube channel I find it easier to release and record those. I thought I would, therefore, like to write something a bit longer. My son and myself both love playing Pokémon, even though he talks about it almost nonstop! I wondered if I could write a poem where I used Pokémon names as part of the poem. I started by writing down some lines with Pokémon names in them; things such as, “this place looked Gastly,” and, “through the smoke we were Koffing and Wheezing.” I realised I could link some of these together to create a story. I then put lines together under similar topics and saw I could make an adventure story. When I started writing the poem, it appeared that I would need many lines to link what I had, and that only a tiny proportion of the poem would be Pokémon names. To alleviate this, I started searching for Pokémon moves, then, when I could not get enough of these into the lines I was writing, would look for anything in Pokémon that could be shoehorned in. This made the poem massive and not very well written. I tried to solve the writing side, but I am not sure I have done that. The first person voice did not lend itself to flowing description and I did not want to waffle too much without having Pokémon words in there. The next ingenious idea I had solved the issue of the poem being massive; I decided to split the poem into parts. It was about twelve pages long on my word processing program, so I went with four parts. My brain then realised that the original Pokémon games had four main editions, red and green in Japan, which later became red and blue in the rest of the world. Later a special Pikachu version, yellow, was created. Thus I included the name of each colour in the name of each part of the poem.
Anyhow, that is how I created the poem, and, even though it is not the best writing I have done, it took me ages. So hopefully you will enjoy it. For now, you can read part 1 ‘Journey through the Green forest’ below or head over to my collection on wattpad entitled ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read.’ Note that the bold words are those that relate to Pokémon, I won’t explain what each one means as that would take too long (google them with the word Pokémon attached to find out if you are unsure). Also, keep an eye our for part 2 of the poem. I will be releasing some other short poems before I publish that one though! For now, just enjoy, and hopefully you won’t be too worried by the cliff-hanger!
A Pokeadventure part 1: Journey through the Green forest
We sat around the campfire, so close we thought we might Burn Up
We had met this group earlier in the day. They told us they had a tale to tell, a tale of treasure
I sat next to my friend Alanna, but we called her Misty
The group cooked in a large pot, I am a bit of an Odor Sleuth so from the smell could tell it was Curry
“Needs a bit more flavour,” Beni said. He turned to me, “can you pop in another Bayleef?”
I did as he said. Then as we watched the pot bubble, he started his tale, “there is talk of a special treasure
Out past Pallet Town. Just to the north is a bridge that crosses a gorge. Over the bridge lies Eterna Forest.
It is said a beast hunts in the forest, but if you can pass it there are riches galore, Gold, Silver, Diamonds, Pearls, Sapphires and Rubies.
We had a map, but it was very Inkay and when it rained the lines ran so you could not make out any location.”
With that he finished his story and we tucked into the Curry, it was rather hot as they had used some sort of Spicy Extract in it
In fact, it was so spicy that we even saw Beni Gulpin down a drink to soothe his throat
After eating, we started to feel Drowzee, so lay down. The floor was hard, but I was Comfey enough
I looked up into the night sky, there hung a large red ball, it was clearly a Blood Moon
With a great Yawn I fell into a deep Sleep but had Bad Dreams of small monsters and long journeys
The next day we left our new found friends
They had been kind enough to give us a healthy Elixir to drink, as well as making Sandwiches for the journey
Not even complaining when Misty told them she did not eat dairy and would like hers Butterfree
With lunch sorted, we walked the road to Pallet Town, getting to our destination with little incident
Passing into town, we saw an array of shops, but what caught our eye was a twitching curtain
“He’s looking out for newcomers,” a female voice said
“Who is?” we asked turning round
“Old Larry, he has special wares to sell, but I would watch out if I were you,
I’m pretty sure they are not magical as he says. He will Pikachu, see what you’re doing until he is ready to strike.
And watch out for that kid,” see pointed to a sweet looking boy. “He seems cute, especially when he tries to Mimikyu.
But all he is doing is trying to get close, to find out what you have of value so he can Nickit.
You would not believe the sorts of things he will Steel.”
We thanked her for her advice and made our way to gather supplies
We only made it a few steps before Old Larry appeared in front of us
I gave him a Mean Look, but the man shook his head
“That lady has been warning you off me, she always tells people to Beware
But I have lived a long time in this world and know of many treasures
I could share the knowledge of my Ultimate Journeys and broaden your Horizons.”
“We know about the forest and the beast’s jewels,” Misty said. “We won’t need any other treasure.”
“You talk of the beast, yes that is true. But there is something more fascinating in the forest.
A house, abandoned long ago, with a special figurine in it. A figurine that can give you the power to read others’ minds.”
“We don’t need your lies or your magical goods old man,” Misty replied.
“Maybe you don’t, but if you pass the house then take a look inside.”
He handed me a small instrument. “Give this Flute a Wicked Blow and the figurine will awake and grant you the power.”
I was about to hand it back when Old Larry seemed to suddenly disappear
“I suppose we could visit the house,” Misty said.
With that we headed to get more supplies, finding a great Sandwich shop called ‘Every Wich Way’
With the Sandwiches from our friends at the camp and more in our pack from the shop, we headed out of the city
As we walked down the dusty road, the sun beat down on us, a Great Ball in the sky
After a quick stop to quench our thirst we continued on our way
About half an hour later, we came to an old stone bridge with statues either side
These had been carved into simple figures, I did not know what they were but Misty said they were Golems
In front of the bridge stood a guard. As we approached he pointed his spear at us
“I am Anders, who guards the crossing to the forest. None shall pass whilst I am standing here.”
“How will we get through?” I asked.
“We need to Charmanders,” Misty said. “Have we got anything to do it with?”
I rummaged around in my backpack, there was a drink, some sandwiches and an Applin there
They would not do. The only thing I could find that might work was a bag of Candy
With a shrug, I held them out to Anders. He scowled at me, showing they would not be enough
As I was about to take them away, I saw him sniff. He breathed in the Sweet Scent coming from the bag
“Wait!” Anders said. “Are these Pecha Berry sweets from Kalos?”
I nodded. Anders continued, “these are Rare Candies indeed. Maybe I’ll take a couple and let your past.
But I cannot be held responsible for what happens in that forest.”
He delved his hand in, making the bag crinkle. When he pulled his fist free, there were four Small Candies inside and an XL Candy
I was a little annoyed, but it in truth it was a small price to pay for access to the bridge
At least we had found Anders’ Weakness and could continue the adventure
Before Anders could change his mind, we marched towards the bridge
On the way across we saw the power of the Rushing Water, flowing over a Rock or two and taking sticks and leaves down stream
The glowing sun shone off the surface, making the whole river look Shiny
It did not take long to cross the bridge, and soon we walked under a canopy of dense foliage
“Which Route do we take now?” Misty asked
The path split in two and she pointed to each, one at a time
“Route 1 or Route 2?” she asked
“Well, if in doubt go right I suppose,” I replied
I barely finished the sentence when Misty turned and headed down the path, a few seconds later the trees grew closer together
As the canopy of the forest closed overhead, the Gloom descended
The darkness meant we could see little, but we knew we headed upwards
Suddenly I slipped, rolling down a hill, breaking through branches
Only a muddy puddle stopped me, I was covered in Muk and had a Bramblin my arm
“Are you OK?” Misty called from above
Without checking, I automatically replied, “yeah, nothing broken.”
It was then I heard the Growl. Coming through the bushes I saw some orange cat like creatures
I knew I needed to Run Away, but as I went to moved I realised my foot was stuck in thick mud
Now I needed Misty more than ever, I needed her to Dig my foot out
As the animals crept closer, I could feel my heart Pound away in my chest
Then something crashed through the undergrowth next to me
It stood there for a second, then made an almighty Screech
New Vlog: My second haiku
A new vlog for you, and it is another one on YouTube Shorts. Here I am reading my latest poem ‘My second haiku.’ I got the number of syllables on my first haiku purposefully wrong, so here is me learning the correct way to construct a haiku. I hope you enjoy it. As usual, you can watch it below, or head over to my YouTube channel where there are even more videos of me reading my poems, short stories and sections of my books. If you missed ‘My first haiku,’ then you can either read it here, or listen to the vlog here.
New Poem: My second haiku
In September of last year (2023) I released my first ever haiku, a type of poem I had wanted to write about for a while but never really felt I had the topic. I therefore went ahead and a wrote a silly one that did not follow the correct number of syllables. Very quickly afterwards, I wrote a second haiku, a sister poem to the first, that contained the correct number of syllables. I would like to tell you that I wrote it in December, but I actually wrote it in the same month as the other one. So why have I not released it until now? Basically I wanted a few poems in between, so if you were reading through my collection ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read,’ you would realised I had learnt about the art form a few poems later. I had only planned two poems in-between but then National Poetry Day happened, then I went to Italy skiing and wrote another poem, then I was ill over New Years and another poem popped into my head. But now that must stop, here is my second attempt at a haiku, interestingly called ‘My second haiku.’ I hope you enjoy it. You can read it below, or head over to wattpad and my collection ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read.’ If you haven’t read the first poem in the series, you can do so by clicking here.
My second haiku
Continued from first
Now I understand the rules
This one much better
New Vlog: Orca
Am I feeling better, yes. Am I back to full health, no! These chest infections really take it out of you. Anyhow, I can speak for long enough without coughing to record a vlog for YouTube Shorts, so here is me reading my poem ‘Orca,’ all about…well…orcas. Notice I have not said killer whales, because as we know, orcas are actually dolphins. But here’s an interesting fact, dolphins are a subspecies of whale, so does that mean orca’s are whales? Yes, yes it does. Orcas are both dolphins and whales, because all dolphins are whales, but not all whales are dolphins. MIND BLOWN! Unless of course you knew that already. Anyway, I shall stop waffling now and point you to the vlog. You can either watch it below, or head over to my YouTube Channel where there are more vlogs of me reading my poetry, short stories and extracts from my novels. Hope you enjoy.
New Poem: Orca
I said in my end of year review that I had two finished poems and I was working on a third, well, this is none of them. As usually happens in school holidays, I stop for a few days and the cold kicks in. Well this time, the cold was an absolute monster. I have therefore spent many nights coughing my guts up and unable to sleep. One small salvation was that a poem popped into my head in the wee hours of one such morning. I had been watching a Sir David Attenborough show with my kids about a prehistoric sea monster. A sea monsters so powerful it would be stronger and faster than a t-rex. Anyway, at one point they compared some of its potential hunting methods to that of the orca. In an attempt to get to sleep, I was trying to think of things other than my throat and focused on what they said on the show, then orcas, then I thought orcas look really nice but are deadly. The poem just sort of sprang from that. I didn’t even write it down but remembered it the next day, and that might be even more amazing. As usual, you can read the poem below, or head over to my poetry collection on wattpad entitled ‘Bad Poetry You Probably never want to read.’ I hope you enjoy.
Orca
What a majestic creature
So sleek and smooth
A paradigm of beauty
In black and white
Like the panda of the sea
Oh look, a seal
Well…erm…that’s not very nice
Chris Harvey's Blog 
New Vlog: No Comment
Here is the vlog for my latest poem, ‘No Comment.’ I am hoping me reading it (or rather not) is a little more exciting than the poem itself, as it literally says nothing. The poem is a bit jokey and is about people saying, ‘no comment,’ in police interviews. I just thought that using that in a poem and saying nothing would be funny. Is it? You can be the judge of that. For now, you can watch ‘No Comment’ below or head over to my YouTube channel where there are many move videos of me reading my poetry along with parts of novels and short stories. Hope you enjoy, and any feedback is most welcome.