A Writer’s Guide… to being a Teacher (in the UK)
My first guest post, hopefully helping writers write about teachers…
This is part of the series of blog articles called “A Writer’s Guide…”, check out this article by writer Chris Harvey on being a Teacher.
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New Poem: Polishing a sheep is a so hard job
With editing ‘A Close Shave with Destiny’ and writing my serial novel ‘Islands of Hope,’ I have had very little time to do other writing. I wrote a lot of poetry at the start of last year but have not for a while. Partly due to other projects and partly due to looking for a topic. I have actually wanted to write another for a few months. The other day the opportunity arose! The wife and I we were singing songs to our 1-year-old girl, when we stopped we noticed our 4-year-old, who was playing with some trains, was singing the songs but with different words. The last line of his song was, ‘polishing a sheep is a so hard job.’ We laughed and then an idea for a poem jumped into my head. It is about a farmer who does strange things to animals to get them ready for a show. I was going to write it as ‘ Polishing a sheep is a very hard job’ but felt what my son said, whilst grammatically incorrect, sounded better. I tried rhyming but it felt forced, when I went without I felt I could write it like a conversation, or rather one person talking at another. I think it is best to read in a stereotypical British West Country accent because that is how I wrote it, partly due to the grammar errors in the title. You can read it below or go to my poetry collection ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read’ on wattpad. Oh yeah, if it is not clear, don’t try any of this at home!
Polishing a sheep is a so hard job
Polishing a sheep is a so hard job
They runs away when they see you
And you just gets one then they hear
That psst psst spraying and they’re gone
When the polish is on you gots to rub it in
But it mats up all the fur real bad
You gets a comb and pull and pull
Then you can get that real good shine
And it’s all worth the work you puts in
If all gets too much then remember this
They’ve got to be ready for the show
Ironing a chicken is a so hard job
They don’t like the heat you see
So yous has to iron from a distance
And that don’t always make them feathers flat
But get in too close and push too hard
Then the feathers burn and go black
Now no-one ever wants that
Especially not the chicken herselves
So though yous got to hold tight
You need to caress her and keep her calm cause
She’s got to be ready for the show
Hoovering a cow is a so hard job
You sees they gets lots of crumbs on em’
Not like biscuit or cakes but more likes mud
Now these ones are easier to catch
And if yous skilled you get on their backs
But they has lots a crannies about
The worst bit by far is the udders you see
When yous got that little hose they pop in
Then you pull it off and another is in
When milk comes out the hoover don’t like that but
She’s got to be ready for the show
But the hardest job is mopping a duck
You might say, why mop a duck who live in pond?
Well, pond water is the wrong type o’ water
And you can’t put cleaner in them ponds
Or else it makes duck sick you see
So I have to stretch over with mop in hand
But it just slips off his downy feathers
And off he swims, quacking out laughter
Once I fell in and thought why do I bother
But you know why I keep going? Cause
He’s got to be ready for the show
And when the show comes
They won’t laugh at what I do
First in show, four times through
And the prize is just a bonus
For the pride I feel in my heart
I polished the sheep
I ironed the chicken
I hoovered the cow
And I mopped the duck
All so they were ready for the show
Now, where’s that goat? He ain’t gonna descale himself
Islands of Hope Update – 07/10/2017
Well I expected this week’s update to be only about 200 words as I got a little distracted with another story I am writing. Then one night I found myself alone, everyone else in bed, and I got that writing bug. I think I have now finished Chapter 5, the writing is at a logical end for this section but I am not sure if I will add more to it or just start Chapter 6 next week. Anyway, this week’s update is a nice bit of dialogue which goes towards world building, adding in plot and developing character. I hope it is as good as that makes it sound. As always the update is available on wattpad. You can read Chapter 5 here or start from the beginning here.
Islands of Hope Cover
So here it is at last and I really like it, I would go as far as saying it is the best cover I have every created. It gives a little away, as it shows one location that will appear in the book but hopefully that does not tell you too much of the story.
I am thankful for wikicommons that I could find royalty free images as I got exactly what I wanted. I was going for a sort of World War 2 identification card with a red fist to represent revolution. The fire is just a nice little touch that I think adds to the idea there will be action and also puts a bit of colour into the cover. I was worried about getting the writing and hand to look like a stamp but with a special eraser, filter and layer settings in Photoshop I am happy with the end result.
I really hope that now having a cover makes everyone more excited for the book. Remember you can read it here on wattpad. Also, feel free to leave me any comments about it. Well then, see you on Saturday for the next update.
Islands of Hope Update – 09/09/2017
Saturday is here once more and that means an ‘Islands of Hope’ update. Bit more of a confusing one this week as I managed to finish Chapter 2 and start Chapter 3. I was going to hold back the start of Chapter 3 but felt that was not in the spirit of the project so it is all there for you. I also feel the story is starting to get moving so it might be a good time to get into it if you have not read it yet.
As usual it is on wattpad. You can read Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3 here or start from the beginning here. Also you can choose secret option D which is ignoring the story all together!
NaNoWriMo 2016 Blog & Social Media Hop
Welcome fellow Wrimos! If you’ve read even one article on book promotion, you’re familiar with the term “author platform”, which is basically your marketing reach. It’s how you’ll promote your books, especially online. The bigger your platform, the better.
So, let’s build our platforms together! Add your blog and social media pages in the form below, and I’ll send it out to every participant at the end of NaNoWriMo 2016, so we can follow one another’s pages.
UPDATE: We have 141 participants so far, which means 141 engaged people who will follow back many of the accounts you add to this form.
New Poem – The First Word
Now the summer holidays have come I am tasking myself with writing for at least ten minutes each day so I can get something out before the end of August. Sometimes I find, like most writers, that I just need to get the first word right to allow my writing to flow. I know what I want to put down but cannot always start. For some reason today I felt like writing a poem and thought this writing conundrum was a worthy topic. Unlike the ideas behind the poem the actual writing of the poem flowed and I was able to produce it quickly. I tried to get symbolism in there rather than focusing on rhyming like I have with most of my other poems, you can not only tell this by the metaphors but the fact it does not rhyme at all! For once I feel like I did a good job and am rather proud of myself, a little bit smug you could say! You can read the poem on wattpad or take a gander below…
The First Word
Shaking, trembling, the perspiration falls
I have so much to say
So much to give to the world
Like a torrid ocean my mind swirls
I know where this will go
I just need to find its hand
So I can lead it to its destination
But alas it blocks my path
My kryptonite
My achilles heel
My dark side
My temptation
My inner demon
A vast land stretches before me
But I am stuck behind a wall
Peering through the bars of a gate
If only I could get the key
Turn the lock and be allowed to run free
I look, I stare but all is bare
As I fumble in the undergrowth
I find what I am looking for
Cold metal on my sweaty palms
But there are more and more
Some copper
Some plastic
Some card shaped
But which is right for me?
The land changes as I move each one close to the gate
It turns to fire, then ice, then sand
All will work, but only one is right
Which I pick could shape my destiny
Keep me flowing through this land
Carving out a channel through the rolling hills
Until the next wall appears and I must choose again
I use the first key I saw
Poke a toe out, the grass feels rough
It is like thorns pressing into my foot
I pull back in pain
Maybe the plastic one will do
I try again but this time I feel water
It is cold, ice cold but does not feel bad
What is that? Swimming there?
Sharp teeth, dark eyes, wide jaws
I retreat again, to the safety of this place
Behind the wall, waiting for the inspiration to come
Waiting for the right choice to be made
I search some more, there are keys
Keys everywhere
Some hang from trees, pretty and ornate
Some are deep in the ground, covered in dirt
Some give an aura of hope
Some tell of despair
And so this will go on and on
Find a key, try the lock
Taste the air and feel the ground
I will keep going
For minutes
For hours
For days
I will find the right path
I will be able to run free
But I cannot think of that now
Now I need to hunt
Now I need to search
Now I need to find my first word
