New Vlog: Sitting on the loo

So, as expected, I have recorded a vlog for my latest poem and, as it is a short one, it appears on YouTube Shorts. The poem is all about us having access to technology and how we can do lots more stuff, such as writing, even when we are on the loo. You can either watch the vlog below, or head over to my YouTube channel where there are lots more short poems, as well as longer poems, short stories and sections from my books. I hope you enjoy, and feel free to leave any comments, both positive and negative.

New Poem: Sitting on the loo

So, here is another new poem for you, one I did not expect to write. It all came about whilst I was recently on a long weekend break. I didn’t have my laptop with me but only my phone, and after a long days activity I decided to do a little writing. I started but needed the loo, as we all do! Then I carried on writing whilst sitting on the loo. I wondered if people would realise when that book is released that some parts were written whilst I was taking my constitutional! Then I thought I could actually write a poem about this. I got a few lines in and realised that it wouldn’t be that long a poem. However, I have recently launched YouTube Shorts so thought this could easily be a short poem. The problem was that the poem explained I was on the loo but I couldn’t find a way to explain that it was about using technology. Suddenly I realised that I often get emails that say ‘Sent from my iPhone.’ That was it, the perfect way to end the poem! Right, now I realise the explanation of the poem is far longer than the poem itself, so I’ll sign off. You can read ‘Sitting on the loo’ below or head over to my poetry collection on wattpad entitled ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read.’ Enjoy, and please don’t think of me on the loo whilst you read it!

Sitting on the loo

I’m writing this poem whilst sitting on the loo

Isn’t it amazing the things you can do

All whilst having your morning constitutional 

Sent from my iPhone

New Vlog: Hitting the word count

So, thanks to 4thewords, I recently released a new poem all about hitting word counts, and the fact that sometimes we waffle on our first drafts just to get to the magic number we need. So now, here is the vlog of me reading that poem. As it is not a short poem, it is on my main YouTube channel not shorts. As usual, you can watch the vlog below, or head over to YouTube where you can see readings of even more of my poems, short stories and novel extracts. Enjoy.

New Poem: Hitting the word count

During my free trial of 4thewords, I decided to focus on writing as much as possible to defeat different monsters in the writing game (if you do not know what 4thewords is, check out my blog post here.). This meant, during part of January and February, I was looking for different projects in my writing so I could complete as much as of the game for free as possible. I have since taken a month off 4thewords and am now back on it for a month. Anyway, one idea that sprung into the my mind was that with many writing projects, such as NaNoWriMo and university and work research tasks, we are looking to hit a word count. At first it is all about getting those words down before we refine and edit. At times, this leads to a bit of waffle or explaining the same thing multiple times just using different words. Imagine what life would be like if we published stuff straight away without editing! Anyhow, I thought a good way to show this phenonium was in a poem, and thus ‘Hitting the word count’ was born. Not only did it mean getting a point across and creating a new poem, it also meant I defeated another monster in 4thewords. I think the term is win-win. Even better, I was actively looking for the longest way to say something, so the poem meandered without really telling you anything. I hope it is successful in that. Anyhow, as usual, you can read the poem below, or head over to my poetry collection on wattpad entitled ‘Bad Poetry You probably never want to read.‘ Let me know what you think of the poem…

Hitting the word count

I find it is a pain to hit the given word count

I realise I do not have that much to say

So instead of facts and figures

I must elaborate and elongate my sentences

Adding in as many words as possible

Whilst simultaneously saying absolutely nothing

Of relevance or making any point that in any way

Retains any pertinence to the question that

I have in fact, by some higher power,

Been asked to discuss, to comment upon

Instead I sound like some verbose, word

Laden monster, using synonyms to say

The same thing over and over again

But in slightly longer and increasingly futile ways

Whilst simultaneous producing no evidence

Whatsoever of said point that I, in all my wisdom

Do indeed need to make, but still I plough on

Like a farmer sowing the seeds that will

Spring forth life and ultimately sustain us

With rich crops, now using even more literary techniques

Such as similes, metaphors and alteration

To take you on a journey through the winding

Wonderment of words using strangely

Superfluous sentences

And yet you read on, thinking to yourself

What a clever wordsmith creating

Vivid and magical images in our minds

When indeed I am saying absolutely nothing

Just counting each word, ticking down

To the point where I need to write no more

But in the end it all goes wrong

And I finally run out of